It is so hard to believe that my husband, Chuck, and I bought this property 31 years ago during Labor Day Weekend. We moved here with the Western Company in 1980 from Kilgore. At the time, we had four children. Five years after we moved here, Western Company, an oil servicing company similar to Halliburton, closed up and left. We had a chance to transfer to Baton Rouge, Louisiana, but opted to stay here instead. We loved the town, our 7 plus acres 6 miles out of town and most of all the church and the school district. We were never sorry we made that decision so long ago.

So much has happened within that 31 years. Some good, some bad and some in between. But that is what life is about anyway. I won't bore you with a novel depicting those years, just the highlights:

1982, our fifth child was born
1987, I started full time with the school as a Teacher Aide
Our son graduated from high school
Our youngest daughter started kindergarten
Chuck's mother passed away
1988, Chuck became the mechanic on the school buses
1990, Our oldest daughter graduated from high school
She started at a junior college
1992, Chuck had a heart attack and stroke
1996, Our twin daughters graduated from high school
They started their college days at Abilene Christian University
1997, My dad passed away
1999, Our oldest daughter got married
Chuck's dad passed away
Chuck's sister moved in with us
Chuck retired from school
2000, Our youngest daughter graduated from high school
Both of the twins graduated from ACU. One in the spring and the other in December
One of the twins got married
Our son moved to Seattle
Our youngest started at ACU
One twin started her masters at Texas Tech University
Married twin and hubby moved to Tennessee
2001, Chuck started to work at Stewart and Stevenson's in Sealy
Our first grandchild, a girl, was born to our oldest daughter and husband
2002, Daughter started her PH.D.,teaching at Texas Tech, and got married. She also taught at Lubbock Christian University, but not certain what year she started teaching there.
2003, Daughter and husband moved from Tennessee to Georgia
2004, Our youngest daughter graduated from ACU
My oldest sister, Marsha, passed away with cancer
Chuck was diagnosed with conjestive heart failure
and he had to retire from working.
2005, Chuck had a pacemaker and difibulator put in through the VA system.
2006, Two daughters gave birth to sons only 2 weeks apart from one another.
Youngest daughter got married
2007, Chuck is getting sicker, so I had to retire from school
2008, Our second granddaughter was born in Georgia
Our daughter, husband and grandson moved to Charlottesville, Virginia so pediatrician son-in-law could do a three year fellowship at the University of Virginia Hospital in Neonatal ICU (NICU)
2009, Our third granddaughter was born in Lubbock
Chuck's health is declining and spent almost all of November in the VA hospital in Temple. All the kids were called home. However, Chuck surprised the doctors and came home on Hospice care.
2010, Chuck received his 100% disability from the VA for PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder} He passed away on March 26th. from several complications due to his exposure to Agent Orange during two tours in Vietnam 4 decades before.
Our sixth grandchild was born in Virginia 6 weeks after her Granddaddy's passing.
2011, Daughter, husband and their two children moved back to Lubbock from Virginia.
I am surviving! Missing my husband of more than 42 years every single day. I am now babysitting in my home instead of subbing at school. I have been a volunteer with our local hospital auxiliary for over 6 years in the ER. We are known as the Purple Angels. I have been volunteering at the school, currently helping with vision and hearing testing. I am an unofficial foster mom for a 17 year old boy who lives with his uncle, I have teamed up with a soon-to-be 16 year old girl who has cerebral palsy. I teach Bible Class on and off.

Within the last month? I have de-cluttered my home, our garage/shop and a few outbuildings with the help of some of my extraordinary neighbors. It is still a work in progress, but close to the end, although there will always be things to be taken of.

I am finally mentally, physically and spiritually healthier than I have ever been. I found out that in order to be able to do this, the first thing is to turn it all over to Our Heavenly Father and have the FAITH in Him to help you. Then getting rid of the material things that have cluttered up your life, and that helps the mental aspect of your being.

There have been a lot of emotions while sifting through STUFF, some that has been in our lives since we married on January 20, 1968. Tears of joy and sadness had to be weathered through it all :) :( , but it can be done if a person is willing to ask for help.

So now it is today, August 31, 2011. Friday I will be traveling to Lubbock with my daughter and her two children to visit two or my other daughters and their children. Oh yes, I have 4 of the most incredible sons-in-law any mother-in-law could ever hope for.

Peace be with all who might come my way on the Stream with God's Blessings also.

Karen

My whole life has been full of people. I'm sometimes amazed how there are people in this world who can't really say the same thing. Maybe they were orphaned at an early age, or given away into the foster care system. It saddens me to think of anyone who doesn't have the slightest idea what their roots are, even if it means some people only know their family history one or two generations back, at least they have a little knowledge concerning their background. It's better than none at all.

Yet, having too much family could be as hard on some people as not having anyone at all they can call their extended family roots. However, I'm not one of them. I embrace knowing so much about my family history, me coming from a family of six kids, me having five kids myself and now four of my kids are married, have wonderful spouses with great families and then there are my six grandchildren.

I thank God over and over for blessing me with the family I was born into, the family I married into, my own family and my sons-in-law families. I not always was happy about my birth family, but as I have lived more and more years, over 64 of them, I have realized that my birth family is perfect for me, even with all of its imperfections. Disfunctional? Oh yes, right along with all the other disfunctional families within all the corners of this world. I always envied ao many of my friend's families, and the older I have become the more wisdom I have gained. Envy can be one of the most dangerous things you can have. It is a destroyer of self, so I'm so glad I outgrew that particular aspect of my personality, like I outgrew it yesterday!! Oh wait, maybe I'm not quite there when I think about it, so I still have some work on that and to be honest, until I take my last breath.

I have to stop here for the moment. Time to eat dinner and since I am visiting my daughter and her family, I better get to the dinner table. So I will add to this later. For now, for everyone out there, please embrace yourself. BLESSINGS! Karen

Well, it's great to check out the Stream now and then and be able to see at the moment it's still here. I recently was able to copy and paste all of my posts so I wouldn't lose all of them since I started in November 2005. Oh what to write now! Let me think for a minute then I will continue.

Well, I have gotten older through the years and a lot has happened since 2005 in my life. I'm so glad I wrote during the years what was happening within my family and my friendships and the most important role in my life, that as a Christian.

I know that so many Christians have become discouraged with their church families for various reasons. It saddens me that this has become the case around the world. I on the other hand cherish my church family, although over the years it has had some major issues. But my love of our Lord has kept me within the same church I have been a member of for over thirty years. Even my own children question me about how I could stay within my church family after the complications that have erupted within my church family. I want to explain my thoughts and feelings concerning why I am still a member of a church family that has had multiple problems during these many years.

I guess the first and foremost reason is the answer they would give me if I asked them this question: You are my children, so that makes you my family. Did I ever give up on you or our family circle through all the trials and tribulations we experienced during the 43 1/2 years we have been a family? My husband, Chuck, passed away on March 26, 2010. We went through some really tough stuff during the 42 years we were married, but instead of giving up, I finally turned it all over to God and He started working in our lives in a way I would have never imagined. But because of my faith and God's greatness our family became a closeknit family.

I love with all of my heart God and the church family He has given me. I am where I am supposed to be and I embrace it, even with it's problems, which now through the years is mending. Yes, there will always be problems just like there are still little problems with my own family. As long as there is people there will be problems. These things have been on my mind and for me this concept works for me. Everyone's problems are as different as night and day and what works for me may not be good for someone else and that is okay. We all have a journey through this earthly life and we must find our way along the way and even if myself and the other person is a Christian, we travel independently.

Blessings to all who might travel my way onto my blog.

Karen

It truly saddens my heart and soul that this is almost the end of over five years being a Streamer. All Good Things Must End! Now I know what that saying means.

My journey on Blogstream started in November of 2005. I was hesitant at first putting myself out there, as is expressed by many people these days, but once I started I couldn't quit. I am so glad I didn't.

When I was a teenager, my rebellion consisted of going into my bedroom and writing down in my diary what I was feeling towards my parents, my siblings and life in general. Unfortunately I decided I would destroy it before any one could read it, afraid if my parents saw it it would hurt their feelings about some of the thoughts I had about them during that time in my life. Now I wish I had kept it so I could have understood myself better as I got older. Time takes away some memories and I would have liked to have had those memories back. Oh at some point I might have destroyed those long ago words written by an unhappy teen further down the line, but hindsight is just never really there most of the time.

I will be preserving everything I have written on the Stream. I have found out that it is a good thing to go back and re-read one's thoughts during emotional times, whether they were up, down or sideways. Such writings for me have helped me understand the path I have traveled through the years and embrace my life even through the hard knocks.

My husband, Chuck, passed away on March 26th, 2010. The first year anniversary will be coming up in less than two weeks. He and I met in March, 1967 in San Antonio, Texas. He was stationed in Virginia Beach, Virginia. Long story short, we only saw one another face to face a total of less than a month. Most of our "COURTING" was either by snail mail or dial telephone. We married on January 20, 1968. We had celebrated our 42nd wedding anniversary 2 months and 6 days before he passed away. He passed away 6 days after my 63rd birthday and 13 days before his 66th birthday.

Chuck's letters and cards to me throughout our courtship and his two tours in Vietnam are precious to me. Yes, I kept them all! The written word is a mighty powerful tool.

Where am I today?

1. A very dark cloud has lifted away from me.
2. I still miss him and always will, but I know he was ready to go.
3. I still live in the same place we have lived for over 30 years.
4. We have our 6th grandchild who was born a little over a month and a half after he passed away.
5. Our children are still mourning him and will always feel the loss.
6. Our grandchildren are still missing him and ask questions.
7. I am sleeping better at night.
8. I still substitute teach now and then.
9. I still volunteer at our local hospital in the ER.
10. I still teach Bible Class now and then.
11. I am enjoying being an unofficial foster mom to a 16 year old boy.
12. I volunteer for FCH, a local group helping the area youth.
13. My family and friends mean the world to mean and I communicate with them as much as possible.
14. I love my Lord with all of my heart and being.
15. I love life and appreciate it as I wake up, put my feet on the floor and rise up to face another day.
16. My heart bleeds for the Japanese people at this time. My dad was stationed there when I was 2-6 years old. Two of my brothers were born in Sendai.
17. I pray everyday for many reasons.
18. I'm looking forward to being 64 on the 20th.
19. I'm looking forward to flying in May to VA to celebrate my granddaughter's first birthday.
20. I'm looking forward to celebrating my mother's 86th birthday in June.

LIFE!

It sometimes trickles down like a gentle stream in the forest or like a raging beast knocking us down and threatening to carry us away in its path.

Whatever it is, I have faith in my God to guide me through the gentle times and the raging times and the in-between times.

God Bless all who might wander my way on this new March day.

With Love and Peace,

Karen

It was a beautiful day today compared to the freezing weather we have had almost all week, however I have been inside all day. I am not sick, but boy am I drained.

My week was full of coaching. I loved it, but boy it takes a toll on my almost 64 year old body. I just forget that I am getting older when I feel so young inside.

I didn't get home last night until after 10:00. Why you might ask?
Well, I was at a high school JV baseball game rooting for a 16 year old boy. I actually got to work with him one on one when he was in Kinder and I was a Teacher Aide. Being a small town, with all the school campuses are close and use the same cafteria and the high school down the street a few blocks away, I have watched this young man grow up. Plus his family would come into the video I worked at for 12 and 1/2 years.

I really can't tell a whole lot about him except he's a great young man who has never had a normal family life. Someone needs to root for him in the stands. Since all my kids are grown and gone, it feels nice to be able to be there for this young man when no one else is. The school is also helping through the principal and the teachers. Of course that saying, "It takes a village to raise a child," comes to mind.

So, I'm really going to have to slow down on the subbing and that is okay. I haven't felt this good since my girls were home with my grandchildren after Christmas. The year date is coming up next month since my Chuck passed and I'm not grieving as much as I had been. I know there will be times, but also I know he is in a better place after being so sick for so long. It's easier to let go when you know it was for the best.

So, I will be making sure I get much needed rest and stay healthy for the important things in life, those people in my life who make my heart smile.

Blessings,

Karen